Tastes Like Winter by Cece Carroll

Author:Cece Carroll [Carroll, Cece]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Children's Books, Growing Up & Facts of Life, Friendship; Social Skills & School Life, Girls & Women, Teen & Young Adult, Literature & Fiction
Amazon: B00NLMSMMW
Publisher: CeCe Carroll
Published: 2014-09-13T23:00:00+00:00

JANUARY

Christmas comes and Christmas goes, fortunately for us, without any drama. I wasn’t sure what our first Christmas alone would be like, but it turned out not too much different than normal. The pile under the tree was larger than usual, despite the lack of gifts for Dad.

Predictably, Mom went overboard and stocked my closet full of clothes, as well as a new pair of boots and my favorite body cream. I bought her a pretty red-beaded necklace from the same local artist selling cards at High Street, and she ohhed and ahhed over it as expected.

I bought Dad an obligatory tie, but I didn’t place it under the tree, for fear that seeing it might set Mom off. I called him Christmas night to wish him a happy holiday and to make a plan to give him his gift.

“Thank you, sweetie. I have something for you too. We can arrange a day to get together, maybe have dinner, and exchange gifts. Does that work?” He sounded about as excited to receive the gift as I was to give it.

“Sounds good, Dad.”

“Great. I’ll have my secretary set something up.”

Ouch.

No longer able to continue the charade of thinly veiled civility, I begged an apology and excused myself, saying that Mom needed my help in the kitchen.

The extended family did not come over, which was not a bad decision considering how terribly our last meal together went. Instead, Mom and I had an intimate dinner for two at the smaller kitchen table. It would have been wasteful to cook an entire roast for the two of us, so we decided to go non-traditional and had fettuccine Alfredo with broccoli and asparagus chunks mixed in. As always, her cooking was delicious, and since she cooked, I volunteered to do all of the cleaning.

After eating dinner and finishing cleanup, I caught her sitting in the glow of the tree lights, staring thoughtfully out the window. A Nat King Cole Christmas album played softly in the background. When I joined her on the couch and asked her what was wrong, she surprised me by pulling me into her.

“I’m sorry I have been so nutty lately. Learning how to live without your father has been so hard on me.”

Her honesty choked me up, and I felt it was time for some of my own.

“I know Dad is gone now, but Mom, hasn’t he been gone for a while?”

She looked down at my face in shock.

“Sometimes I forget how observant you are.” She caressed my cheek and pulled me down so that my head rested in her lap and she could rub my hair, the way she did when I was younger. “But you’re right,” she continued. “He has been distancing himself for years, and I am so, so sorry for that.”

“It’s not your fault.” The words were out of my mouth, and while I hadn’t previously realized it, somewhere along the way I’d forgiven her. It’s not her fault she fell in love with a man who couldn’t love her back the way she needed.

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